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Home PARENTING Thoughts Kids - Children | What is Your Number?

People say ‘Children are gifts from God’. Does it mean the more we have, the ‘wealthier’ we are? Or is it the more the merrier? How many is too many? How few is too few?

The moment a couple are moving on to the next stage in life called parenthood, this question definitely come across one's mind. At least once. It triggers unconsciously as the couple are ready to become parents.

Today, I am a parent, a mother of one. I wish for two. My hubby wishes for three. So, what is our number? Do we have the final say? Start and stop? Well, I am a strong believer of what is yours is always yours no matter what. Whatever the figure that applies to us, the crucial part is raising up the children well. Quality exceeds the quantity.

I met a lady is her golden age a few days ago. We chatted a bit and she told me she has three children. I told her I only have one. She asked me to bear at least one more so that the child has a company to play, to discuss and also to take care of each other. True.

So when is the best time to try for our number two? What else to consider with more than one?

1. The same that attracts.
The age gap between/among the siblings preferably not to broad. For instance, brothers of two between the age gap of 2-4 years allow them to communicate in the same frequency as they usually share the same childhood. They could be sharing the same toys or games and friends as well.

2. Leadership by Example.
As far as home rule is concern, grooming the eldest sibling to be an invisible’ (pseudo) leader. Whether we realize or not, the younger siblings have the inclination to behave like the elder siblings. If the so-called leader always do well in exam, help around at home; the younger siblings tend to follow.

3. Education.
In the event whereby finance and children’s interest permits, providing an almost equal education level to all of them. For example, in a family of three, the eldest daughter went to university; the other two must at least have up to college education. It is not the big deal about what course they are doing, but it serves as a platform to sharpen their thinking process. This is crucial to make better decision in life. Give a child a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a child to fish and you feed him for a lifetime!

4. Give pleasure not pressure.
Good childhood is as important as a good education. Children will be less pressured if parents do not voice out their comparison in front of the siblings. Every child is unique; they have their own strength and weakness. Listen to each needs, pay attention and look at him/her when the child speaks. Treat them like adults. I believe parent's role is as a coach rather than a judge. Favoritism always kicks in but sinks it as deep as possible.

5. Groom the children as what they are.
Rather than make them to be what we (the parents) love to be, or always wanted to be. Give them freedom and options to live well, go for their final decision and pick their journey. Giving a shoulder to lean on is good but not up to the extend of cultivating the habit that the younger one bugs the elder all the time!

Mmm...being a parent is much tougher than what I had imagined! I need a long break :D


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